P.S. I Miss You 

It’s been a month since we last talked. Well, conversed. And all I can’t think of right now is “All great things must come to an end.” and “People come and go.”
I’m not sure if I read it right, but I do feel that you’re already leaving soon. I may not know when but the force of your presence is already weakening as the days go by. I no longer feel your presence as it did before. I no longer hear your voice when I reread your messages. I no longer see your face when I close my eyes. But I still think of you. 
I still think how your day went. I still think if you ever made someone else smile just like you made me smile before. I still care if your day is going well. I still want to know if you’re feeling okay. I still think if you still stay up until 4am and overthinking. I still think about you and how it bothers me because I can’t talk to you. 
A month has passed, I still don’t know what to say. Well, I want to tell you a lot of things. I want to tell you how my summer has been. I want to tell you how I have formed the habit of waiting for the sun to set because it reminds me of you. I want to tell you how happy I am because of the opportunities that have come my way.

 I want to tell you that I want you back. I want to tell you how I feel, that I’m sorry and will be. I want to tell you but this is all I’ve got. I want to tell you but I am speechless, I swear. I don’t have the words and the strength to express all the things I want you to know. 
One day, I hope I’ll be able to tell you everything. One day, I hope I’ll be able to gather the strength to greet you hi. One day, I hope I’ll be alright. One day, I  hope we’ll be okay. One day, I hope we’ll be able to fill the gap that once separated us. One day, I hope you’ll still want me back. One day, I hope you’ll still be you, happy and confused. One day, I hope you’ll still be capturing people’s hearts. One day, I hope you’ll be happier than ever. One day, I hope you’ll see me again. One day, I hope we’ll be standing on our two feet. One day, I hope we’ll be happy even apart. One day, I hope we’ll be happy for each other. One day, I hope that, that day will come when we’ll be able to forgive ourselves. One day, and when that day comes I hope you’ll still be you.
Maybe you’ll be a little older, maybe a bit taller. Maybe you’ve grown to be prettier, maybe you’ve grown to be happier. Maybe you’ve gone through so much, maybe you’ve learned a lot. Maybe you’ve forgiven yourself, maybe you’ve found someone else. Maybe you’ll forget everything I said, everything I wrote. Maybe, I’ve said goodbye but believe me when I say I’ll be more than glad to tell you hi once again. 
It’s been a while. 

– N.

P.S. I miss you. 

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